Yesterday my preacher’s sermon posed a simple but powerful question: “What is something you’ve tolerated for too long?”

Naturally, after we got home, I couldn’t stop thinking about teachers.

Because if we are honest, teachers are professional tolerators. We tolerate overcrowded classrooms. We tolerate unrealistic expectations. We tolerate chronic exhaustion, underappreciation, and being treated like we’re somehow both superheroes and expendable.

And we do it silently. With a smile. With “sure, I can help with that” even when we are running on fumes.

Why do we tolerate so much?

The short answer…because most of us are people pleasers. We are wired to nurture, fix, and smooth things over. We are conflict-avoidant, team players, deeply invested in keeping the peace —even when the cost is ourselves.

We’re told to “be flexible.” We’re praised when we “go above and beyond.” We’re made to feel like setting a boundary is selfish or ungrateful.

But here is the truth: Just because you’re good at tolerating hard things doesn’t mean that you always have to.

Can we change?? Should we??

This is the part that gets uncomfortable. Because change sounds good in theory–until it requires us to risk disapproval, discomfort, or disappointing someone. For many of us, being liked has been a survival skill.

But maybe it’s time to stop just surviving.

So yes, we can change…and yes, we should.

But not by becoming hard, cold, or bitter. Instead, we change by becoming whole. By remembering our needs too.

How do we start?

~Notice what you’re tolerating. What has been draining you for weeks…or years? Is it a person? A pattern? A pressure? Put a name to it.

~Ask what it’s costing you? Your sleep? Your joy? Your health? Your family time? Your sense of self?

~Acknowledge what’s out of your control. Some things–underfunded systems, oversized class rosters, or state-mandated testing–are bigger than us. Bigger than our admin, too. It’s okay to grieve that. But we can still choose how we respond, protect our energy, and draw lines around what we won’t carry alone anymore.

~Practice small boundaries. Say “no” to one thing this week. Or “not right now.” Or “I need a minute to get that done.” Let it be clumsy. Let it feel weird. That’s normal.

~Trade people-pleasing for self-respect. You can still be kind. You can still care. But YOU don’t have to disappear in the process.

Final Thought

You’re not wrong for being tired. You’re not weak for needing rest. And you’re certainly not selfish for wanting something to change. There is a difference between being resilient and resigned. You don’t have to keep tolerating things that are quietly breaking you down.

So take inventory. Get honest. Be brave. Start small if you need to, but start. Because you deserve a life, a career, and a rhythm that sustains you, not one that slowly empties you.